Dare to Love Dolly and Approaching the Holidays

Dare to Love Dolly

Dolly was a loving rescue dachshund, and we found each other in the summer of 2023. There was an instant spark which formed into a deep bond. All I wanted to do was take care of her and give her a safe and loving home. Initially, I was understandably nervous about being able to provide everything she needed, and despite my initial agreement to foster her for only a couple of weeks, I registered my interest to adopt her on day two.
Dolly had a big, colorful and wonderful personality. She was almost as protective and stubborn as she was loving, affectionate, mesmerizing and brave. I had not long suffered a miscarriage, and naturally I poured all my love and care into Dolly – and I am so glad that I gave her everything and more.

Dolly trusted me with her life instantly. On our first walk to the park, she relaxed at my feet as I sat on the grass. She rested her wet nose on me, her eyes so innocent, craving all the love she had to give. That’s when I knew we belonged together. I think we both did. She became my best friend, my soul animal, and my instant family.
Inevitably, life and our relationship were at times challenging. Due to her history, I imagine, she experienced some separation anxiety, and I was very determined to include her in virtually every part of my life. I figured some things don’t always need to be fixed – sometimes we can simply accept, adapt, and enjoy life.

Dolly was my constant companion: from social and family life (I did enjoy the attention she got!), to weekly trips to church, to going to work with me, gaining a Care Dog Certificate, and travelling the country and Europe. We were inseparable and it suited us both; other people’s opinions were insignificant. We embraced life and we loved it. I dared to love Dolly, no matter the price.

Approaching the Holidays: Focusing on the Presence, Not the Absence

As we approach the Christmas season, our beloved pet’s absence can be felt more prominently. I spent my first holidays without Dolly last year, and it’s still daunting. But what has shifted is my focus on her presence, not her absence — something I learned through the support I received from PetCloud in my grieving process.

I see Dolly’s smile and her loving eyes as I close my eyes. I watch the clouds form shapes that resemble her when I look up. I feel the warmth of her cuddle when she occasionally visits in my dreams. I see her relaxing in the sun, her little face reminding me to stop and be present with every ray of sunshine that touches my face. When I think of her and catch a glimpse of a shooting star, I imagine her watching over me.
I let the broken pieces of my heart glue themselves back together with all the beautiful memories of her. I light a candle every day and watch the flame dance in still air as I write to her, remembering her and connecting to her energy.
Nurturing our spiritual connection is what has gradually made a difference and soothed my pain. It reminds me of Dolly’s everlasting presence in my life.
Last year at PetCloud, I was given permission to feel what I needed — to grieve in ways that might feel awkward to others, to talk to Dolly, to honor her in ways that felt meaningful to me, and to create a sacred space for us to connect. It helped me express my grief and stay connected with her.

We often hide away our grief in fear of being judged by others. But what if we could give ourselves permission to talk to our babies and let it be okay? Permission to create space to honor them? To create an ornament or write a poem in their memory, symbolizing their place in our life and our heart?
We can give ourselves permission to cry and miss them when it’s overwhelming. We don’t need to fix our feelings — we can simply feel what is true, knowing our love for them remains. We can give ourselves permission to take a little break from the overwhelm and busyness of the holidays, join a group at PetCloud, and connect with others who understand and share the memories that bring a smile to our faces.

Let’s give ourselves permission to be kind and gentle with ourselves and with others this Christmas.
Let’s love ourselves the way we were loved by our fur babies – unconditionally, and remember the love we always have for them in the process.